I think it’s funny that everyone thinks someone is pulling the dragon’s strings.

I think it’s funny that everyone thinks someone is pulling the dragon’s strings. The Thalmor think so. Thing is — they’re right. Someone is pulling the strings. Has been all along. Someone wants to take over the entire world, and someone is using the dragons to do just that.

That person is you.

  • The Book of the Dragonborn talks about a prophecy that speaks to when the dragons would be raised. It is this:

  • When misrule takes its place at the eight corners of the world

  • When the Brass Tower walks and Time is reshaped

  • When the thrice-blessed fail and the Red Tower trembles

  • When the Dragonborn Ruler loses his throne, and the White Tower falls

  • When the Snow Tower lies sundered, kingless, bleeding

  • The World-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the Last Dragonborn.

You are not the cause of the dragons being raised, but, like many a dictator, just a man who sees where history is going. The dragons are raised, you come to Skyrim to enslave them and use them in your war against everyone. How? You must be the dragonborn and save the people. None of what happens in Skyrim is a coincidence. It’s all a part of your flawlessly executed plan.

But you are a regular guy, not the dragonborn. Tell me, what’s the first big quest? To get the dragonstone. This is not a coincidence. You hire some thieves to steal the claw from the idiot merchant in Riverwood. You pop by, sure I will get it back for you. You may have a bit of gold from a shipment coming in but you’re not sure? Doesn’t matter. I will get it for you. The merchant is so happy for help, he doesn’t realize that it doesn’t make sense for someone to risk their life to get an heirloom that’s worth 60g back. Little does he know, the dragonstone grants the power of the dragonborn to the holder. The head thief knows, you had your contact explain to him that there was a power in there, just to make him a little thirstier. He’s so blinding by his quest for power, he doesn’t realize it was you, pulling the strings. After you take the power of the dragonstone, you don’t need it. Give it to the slimy wizard in Whiterun. You’re already making friends.

Because friends are what you need. You need people in the inns singing about the dragonborn. Telling everyone drinking mead that, oh, I met the dragonborn. He got me ice wraith teeth. He got my bow from the Thieves Den. Seems like a nice bloke. Anyone who says otherwise would be drowned out by everyone else. Some are easy, some are hard, but those you can’t befriend usually end up regretting it, don’t they.

All the while you are scouring the countryside collecting all of Skyrim’s most powerful artifacts. Centuries of master enchanters lend you their aid. You’ll need it when you’re taking over the world.

Next, you become the leader of every one of the factions. The companions are an easy first choice. They command respect. They are well known. And, what do you know? Whiterun is the first town you visit. This is not a coincidence. Kodlak is an old fool, he doesn’t know what you’re up to. You didn’t know their secret, but it will surely help when you start wanting people to disappear in the night. Werewolf attack, or political hit?

Next, the thieves guild. You’ll need people who aren’t bothered by locked doors when you rise to power. You need people who can get information political enemies think are secret. In politics, the one-two punch is the most effective. Destroying a political opponent is one thing, but gaining a powerful political ally in the process is even better. Two birds. One stone. Who in the thieves guild would steal from the Leader? The Nightengales, once legend, are now the most effective spy wing ever assembled. Blessed by a Daedra that owes you a favor, literally no piece of information is beyond your grasp. And you lead them.

The bards college is important too. You now control the media wing of the entire country. There are no newspapers. There is no 24hour news cycle. There are only the bards. The inns resound with “the dragonborn comes”. None of this is a coincidence.

The civil war is a nuisance, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter what side you choose. Ulfric is a power hungry dullard, but he understands Skyrim’s needs. He can be useful… At first. Who wouldn’t vote the dragonborn as jarl? Who wouldn’t vote a dragonborn jarl as king of skyrim?

Who wouldn’t allow king of skyrim to take the place of the recently deceased emperor? Worked for Tiber Septim. Worked for fucking Talos. Ulfric stormcloak isn’t riding dragons around. He can use the voice, but not like the fucking Dragonborn. Likewise, having an Empire that owes you something is always a good thing. Do you think they didn’t hear about you in Cyrodill? In High Rock? The man who single handedly stopped the Skyrim rebellion, and, did we mention, he’s the dragonborn?

The empire is falling anyway, but like any good dictator, Skyrim isn’t the only gem you want in your crown. Either side, you can be emperor eventually. And the rest of the world will fall when you enslave the dragons. The only one who can stop you from this is old Parthanuxx. He’s pretty powerful to begin with, but even worse is that he’s the only dragon with any sense or political savvy. It’s too risky to have him as an ally. He’ll need to go. Sounded weird when they wanted you to off him? Not anymore. It’s not a coincidence. You’ll need the blades when you are emperor. You plant the idea in their head. Now you just destroyed your greatest enemy and solidified your greatest ally: the blades. The heroes of the war. Most likely to give their lives fighting the thalmor. A masterful political move.

But there’s already an emperor? Not for long. You pay a simple councilman to do the ritual. He’s so dumb, he doesn’t know you are the one pulling the strings when you meet him. In fact, you were on your way back from that trip when you picked up by Imperial troops mistaking you for a Stormcloak. it also helps that you’re the “listener” and can effectively manipulate who the Dark Brotherhood strikes, doesn’t it. The Emperor? For a group of 6 people? Sounds like overkill for a Dark Brotherhood that’s caving in. Doesn’t sound like overkill to a man who wants to be the next Talos. It’s not a coincidence.

Next the mages college falls to your charisma. You’ll need them against the Thalmor, and you’d heard Psijic spies were crawling over that place. Every Daedra owes you a favor, too. All of Oblivion would support you. Deal with the new vampire upstart (or use him for your own gains), and you’re set. It’s a lot of work, but taking over the world, well, it really is. the rest of the world will be easier. With the aid of the Psijics, the blades, and the rest of the empire, the thalmor will be easy. They’ve been so concerned with Talos worship, they didn’t see the next Talos growing in power right under their noses.

None of this is coincidence. You knew all along. The real mad man, the real villain… It was you. And the best part? Everyone. Wanted. This. They just didn’t know you made them want it.

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